Vinnie The Hitman Moves to the Burbs...
Yes! (In my mind I hear Napoleon Dynamite’s drawn out, Yessssssssssss) Another four days in hell! Now please, do not think I am excited or anything, I am not. I am trying to be optimistic as my fate continues to leave me trapped in the death grip of a titanic sinking with so many captains and officers running about trying to make some sense of the sinking monster they try to maintain. They direct everyone to fill the holes with their fingers, thumbs, and toes. Yes it is bad, and maybe not as bad as I make it out to be, but you know it is pretty sad when employees WANT to get laid off cause they know they will make some money off the deal.
So, here we are another night and what am I going to go on about? Well I had an interesting conversation with my wife today, something that is at the forefront of my thoughts. Yes, maybe even a bit worried, but in general a minor issue but something bearing caution.
In the army you are trained to be cautious and suspect anything. I recall during some training how we were in the triple canopy jungle, a place that is dim of sunlight even though the light is as bright as one could ever imagine 100 feet up above all the trees. The vegetation is still thick, and when moving upon an enemy site ANYTHING can happen, and one is to suspect anything. In the world of nature nothing is perfectly geometric, and anything that has a look of symmetry should be closely examined. That is how, when once being on point, I looked down and saw something that did not look right. I put my hand up to halt my team, and I knelt down. I couldn’t figure it out right away, but there was a problem in the undergrowth. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, and my eyes focused. This was all from training and sensory perception of my environment.
As I knelt down it dawned on me what did not look right, a length of dark camouflaged twine ran across my path. It was hidden in the underbrush, but what stopped me as I was scanning was the fact across my path I saw a perfectly straight line in my field of vision. That is not a natural occurrence. My training paid off, and what I had almost stumbled across was a trip to a smoke grenade taped to a tree and hidden just off to the side where were moving. This told my team and me several things; that the way we were going was an expected route of entry to where the enemy was setup, there was probably an ambush site just up the way or at the very least and observation post where upon tripping the flare, our presence would be known so the folks at the OP would notify the rest of the enemy element, thus compromising our point of entry and our team in general.
As it worked out, we stopped, checked our map, made a deviation of route from our original plan, and attacked our opposition from an unexpected location, and won our engagement. But, had I not been on my game, we would have lost the engagement in a very bad way, thus would have gotten a no-go on our exercise.
So I have mentioned Motormouth in my blog several times. She is the annoying daughter of the Crazies, specifically the daughter of Mrs. C. I had wanted to give you some background on this wonderful young lady (hahaha, I cannot keep a straight face… sorry!), but as this story involves her, her history will remain some bit of an enigma of which I will elaborate at another time. What is most important is the fact she incessantly talks and is (I really hate saying this about a 13 yr old girl, but it is the truth) the most self involved little bitch I have ever known. I cannot blame her for being how she is because it was her mother who let her develop to the point where she has arrived. But her daily arrival at our home is dreaded by everyone (I am sure the little one would express the same if she could verbally express her thoughts). MM cannot stop talking; she walks in the door and is already talking, it could be to herself, on the phone, who knows, but she is incessantly talking. Mimi tends to get headaches that are bordering on migraines by the time MM walks out of the house. I mean two toddlers and this self involved teenager who cannot keep her mouth shut for a nanosecond. A true recipe for a migraine!
So apparently Mimi and MM were having a conversation, mind you the conversing was minimal on Mimi’s part, and MM related to Mimi an incident that occurred the other day. In some ways it is pretty humorous, but on many other levels, a bit disturbing. The incident involved me, in that I had gone over to the Crazies’ place found Mr. C. outside and threatened him with bodily harm if he did not give me a check.
Ok, I first want to examine the humor in this situation, as the vision of it all could be a great movie scene. That is how I see lots of things, as scenes form movies, I think my calling is to be a writer/director, but I have never figured out how to get there… I digress. So many folks look at me and think, this guy is “Family Connected.” I am a bit of a stout guy, with a big barrel chest, decent sized arms and all, of medium height, and I have the dark salt and pepper thing going on with my hair, and my features are a bit dark. I also spent some years in Philadelphia (so I now have a flat accent with a bit of NE flavor from time to time when I speak) and have on occasion been known to associate with kids in connected families while in school. But the most humorous part of this was I happened to be dressed in one of my suits when this occurred. So I probably did look the part. But my vision was me walking across the street, in my suit, me closing my hands on each other in front of me, my head cocking to the side, and me saying something like, “Hey, Mr. C. we need to talk… You see your wife gave me a bad check, and now I have to kick your ass if you don’t pay up.” He writes me a check, I look at it and say, “No, you see you don’t understand, now you owe interest, you are doing business with me, not my wife now. There is a vig we have to talk about… So I can go across the street and get a bat, and beat it out of you or you can pay up the 600% interest, whaddaya say?”
Ok, so look… don’t freak on me. That never happened. I am just thinking of some scene out of the movie, “Vinnie the Hitman Moves to the Burbs” that would be fucking excellent!
You see, apparently the Crazies have separate checking accounts, and as their train wreck of a marriage continues on its collision course, the chain reaction to implosion is not far away. Mimi is now having issues with getting money for taking care of their children. Mrs. C., to her credit, is very good about paying, but Mr.& Mr. C trade weeks on paying for the childcare, which Mimi provides at bargain basement rates. You will not get one on one care like this for the price Mimi is charging, much less regular daycare. So Mrs. C doesn’t pay Mimi on Friday, which made this past weekend a bit tough, but that is another issue. Monday morning she brings over a check but says it cannot be cashed till Wednesday at the earliest because she has to wait to get paid, and Mr. C refused to write a check. I will admit I was pretty furious about the whole situation. I mean what the fuck is the deal, where you cannot pay for your kid’s daycare? Now I understand Mr. C. never wanted Mrs. C. to work outside the home, because he wanted her to be a stay at home mom. Unfortunately, until all these legal issues are resolved, Mr. C. has real jail time looming over him and it does not appear those problems will be resolved any time soon. So Mrs. C. is hedging her bets and has been working for the past year getting certified and experience in a field that will be quite lucrative for her in the near future. The intent, is, if Mr. C gets jail time for the trumped up charges (yeah, this guy is innocent of the shit that has been brought against him, and his issue right now is a mental breakdown he refuses to acknowledge so he won’t get help and his parents refuse to acknowledge the issue either, so intervention is not going to happen, and he will continue to meltdown), Mrs. C will have a safety net so she and the children do not end up without a roof over their head and no money coming in the home while he is in jail.
What really happened? Admittedly, I was not happy about the situation in general. Mrs. C. annoys the shit out of me as does everyone else in their world. I do try to be a nice guy, and although I do have some issues with Mr. C. (we used to be decent friends, until his world collided with mine creating deep fissures between the families), I was not unpleasant at all. So the issue was, I had a check that was no good, and I needed one that was good. I noticed Mr. C. was around, and strode over to him after coming home from a meeting. And the conversation was short and sweet. I said, “Hey man, need to talk to ya for a sec… This is a bit awkward, but I need a check. Apparently the one Mrs. C. wrote Mimi isn’t any good till Wednesday.” I explained to him the issue leaving out the part of her accusing him of refusing to pay, he said, “no problem” and wrote me a check. Now he did mention how, “…fucking women, can’t get anything right. Leave it to a woman to fuck things up.” And a couple of other choice phrases. To which no comment was made by me. I let him vent. The other thing that occurred during our meeting was that his face was twitching all over. When I told him we needed to talk, he looked at me for a few moments till I began the next sentence, and his eye twitched and he just stared me down. So I began the next sentence of, “…this is awkward, but I need to get a check from you.”
I took the check, came home, and mowed the lawn. Mrs. C. Came to get MM and MB and Mimi, explained what happened, Mrs. C. was pleased I collected from him, and life went on as normal. Mimi’s headache went away, we had dinner and the evening was peaceful, except for all the fucking dishes we had to wash by hand! But other than that it was a good evening.
So now, I have to wonder, WTF is going on here? Has this guy melted down so far that his reality is distorted? Did he really say out loud that I threatened to kick his ass if he did not pay up? Did MM pull that out of her ass? Does one’s own reality shift completely when entering the realm of the Crazies? I don’t fucking know. What I do know is that if Mr. C. were to call the police, he could easily state I threatened him with physical injury, which could be considered terroristic, and quickly I could be handcuffed and taken to jail. Yeah, so what if I didn’t do a fucking thing wrong, I would still have to spend money to prove I was innocent and (money I do not have) and I could potentially come away with an arrest record, something I proudly can say I do not have. I have never had handcuffs utilized on me in that way!
So now my senses are alerted and I must go to one of my best friends and ask him for advice. Yes I have a lawyer for a close friend. He is literally the only one I know who is truly honest; otherwise we never would have become friends. But I hate asking him for advice, especially since I am a friend. Plus I know the advice I would give Mimi and me… Disassociate ourselves from these insane people in anyway we can. Unfortunately for the near future, we need the income the childcare brings in, so we are in quite the quandary. However, maybe because my senses are alerted, I can move in another direction with some stealth to avoid some psychotic trap he may cook up to sabotage my family. Yeah, I know mellow dramatic, but it sounded good. But really, I think this is a definite sign that caution must be taken with these folks.
So yet another chapter of strange tales from the burbs! HA!
So, here we are another night and what am I going to go on about? Well I had an interesting conversation with my wife today, something that is at the forefront of my thoughts. Yes, maybe even a bit worried, but in general a minor issue but something bearing caution.
In the army you are trained to be cautious and suspect anything. I recall during some training how we were in the triple canopy jungle, a place that is dim of sunlight even though the light is as bright as one could ever imagine 100 feet up above all the trees. The vegetation is still thick, and when moving upon an enemy site ANYTHING can happen, and one is to suspect anything. In the world of nature nothing is perfectly geometric, and anything that has a look of symmetry should be closely examined. That is how, when once being on point, I looked down and saw something that did not look right. I put my hand up to halt my team, and I knelt down. I couldn’t figure it out right away, but there was a problem in the undergrowth. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, and my eyes focused. This was all from training and sensory perception of my environment.
As I knelt down it dawned on me what did not look right, a length of dark camouflaged twine ran across my path. It was hidden in the underbrush, but what stopped me as I was scanning was the fact across my path I saw a perfectly straight line in my field of vision. That is not a natural occurrence. My training paid off, and what I had almost stumbled across was a trip to a smoke grenade taped to a tree and hidden just off to the side where were moving. This told my team and me several things; that the way we were going was an expected route of entry to where the enemy was setup, there was probably an ambush site just up the way or at the very least and observation post where upon tripping the flare, our presence would be known so the folks at the OP would notify the rest of the enemy element, thus compromising our point of entry and our team in general.
As it worked out, we stopped, checked our map, made a deviation of route from our original plan, and attacked our opposition from an unexpected location, and won our engagement. But, had I not been on my game, we would have lost the engagement in a very bad way, thus would have gotten a no-go on our exercise.
So I have mentioned Motormouth in my blog several times. She is the annoying daughter of the Crazies, specifically the daughter of Mrs. C. I had wanted to give you some background on this wonderful young lady (hahaha, I cannot keep a straight face… sorry!), but as this story involves her, her history will remain some bit of an enigma of which I will elaborate at another time. What is most important is the fact she incessantly talks and is (I really hate saying this about a 13 yr old girl, but it is the truth) the most self involved little bitch I have ever known. I cannot blame her for being how she is because it was her mother who let her develop to the point where she has arrived. But her daily arrival at our home is dreaded by everyone (I am sure the little one would express the same if she could verbally express her thoughts). MM cannot stop talking; she walks in the door and is already talking, it could be to herself, on the phone, who knows, but she is incessantly talking. Mimi tends to get headaches that are bordering on migraines by the time MM walks out of the house. I mean two toddlers and this self involved teenager who cannot keep her mouth shut for a nanosecond. A true recipe for a migraine!
So apparently Mimi and MM were having a conversation, mind you the conversing was minimal on Mimi’s part, and MM related to Mimi an incident that occurred the other day. In some ways it is pretty humorous, but on many other levels, a bit disturbing. The incident involved me, in that I had gone over to the Crazies’ place found Mr. C. outside and threatened him with bodily harm if he did not give me a check.
Ok, I first want to examine the humor in this situation, as the vision of it all could be a great movie scene. That is how I see lots of things, as scenes form movies, I think my calling is to be a writer/director, but I have never figured out how to get there… I digress. So many folks look at me and think, this guy is “Family Connected.” I am a bit of a stout guy, with a big barrel chest, decent sized arms and all, of medium height, and I have the dark salt and pepper thing going on with my hair, and my features are a bit dark. I also spent some years in Philadelphia (so I now have a flat accent with a bit of NE flavor from time to time when I speak) and have on occasion been known to associate with kids in connected families while in school. But the most humorous part of this was I happened to be dressed in one of my suits when this occurred. So I probably did look the part. But my vision was me walking across the street, in my suit, me closing my hands on each other in front of me, my head cocking to the side, and me saying something like, “Hey, Mr. C. we need to talk… You see your wife gave me a bad check, and now I have to kick your ass if you don’t pay up.” He writes me a check, I look at it and say, “No, you see you don’t understand, now you owe interest, you are doing business with me, not my wife now. There is a vig we have to talk about… So I can go across the street and get a bat, and beat it out of you or you can pay up the 600% interest, whaddaya say?”
Ok, so look… don’t freak on me. That never happened. I am just thinking of some scene out of the movie, “Vinnie the Hitman Moves to the Burbs” that would be fucking excellent!
You see, apparently the Crazies have separate checking accounts, and as their train wreck of a marriage continues on its collision course, the chain reaction to implosion is not far away. Mimi is now having issues with getting money for taking care of their children. Mrs. C., to her credit, is very good about paying, but Mr.& Mr. C trade weeks on paying for the childcare, which Mimi provides at bargain basement rates. You will not get one on one care like this for the price Mimi is charging, much less regular daycare. So Mrs. C doesn’t pay Mimi on Friday, which made this past weekend a bit tough, but that is another issue. Monday morning she brings over a check but says it cannot be cashed till Wednesday at the earliest because she has to wait to get paid, and Mr. C refused to write a check. I will admit I was pretty furious about the whole situation. I mean what the fuck is the deal, where you cannot pay for your kid’s daycare? Now I understand Mr. C. never wanted Mrs. C. to work outside the home, because he wanted her to be a stay at home mom. Unfortunately, until all these legal issues are resolved, Mr. C. has real jail time looming over him and it does not appear those problems will be resolved any time soon. So Mrs. C. is hedging her bets and has been working for the past year getting certified and experience in a field that will be quite lucrative for her in the near future. The intent, is, if Mr. C gets jail time for the trumped up charges (yeah, this guy is innocent of the shit that has been brought against him, and his issue right now is a mental breakdown he refuses to acknowledge so he won’t get help and his parents refuse to acknowledge the issue either, so intervention is not going to happen, and he will continue to meltdown), Mrs. C will have a safety net so she and the children do not end up without a roof over their head and no money coming in the home while he is in jail.
What really happened? Admittedly, I was not happy about the situation in general. Mrs. C. annoys the shit out of me as does everyone else in their world. I do try to be a nice guy, and although I do have some issues with Mr. C. (we used to be decent friends, until his world collided with mine creating deep fissures between the families), I was not unpleasant at all. So the issue was, I had a check that was no good, and I needed one that was good. I noticed Mr. C. was around, and strode over to him after coming home from a meeting. And the conversation was short and sweet. I said, “Hey man, need to talk to ya for a sec… This is a bit awkward, but I need a check. Apparently the one Mrs. C. wrote Mimi isn’t any good till Wednesday.” I explained to him the issue leaving out the part of her accusing him of refusing to pay, he said, “no problem” and wrote me a check. Now he did mention how, “…fucking women, can’t get anything right. Leave it to a woman to fuck things up.” And a couple of other choice phrases. To which no comment was made by me. I let him vent. The other thing that occurred during our meeting was that his face was twitching all over. When I told him we needed to talk, he looked at me for a few moments till I began the next sentence, and his eye twitched and he just stared me down. So I began the next sentence of, “…this is awkward, but I need to get a check from you.”
I took the check, came home, and mowed the lawn. Mrs. C. Came to get MM and MB and Mimi, explained what happened, Mrs. C. was pleased I collected from him, and life went on as normal. Mimi’s headache went away, we had dinner and the evening was peaceful, except for all the fucking dishes we had to wash by hand! But other than that it was a good evening.
So now, I have to wonder, WTF is going on here? Has this guy melted down so far that his reality is distorted? Did he really say out loud that I threatened to kick his ass if he did not pay up? Did MM pull that out of her ass? Does one’s own reality shift completely when entering the realm of the Crazies? I don’t fucking know. What I do know is that if Mr. C. were to call the police, he could easily state I threatened him with physical injury, which could be considered terroristic, and quickly I could be handcuffed and taken to jail. Yeah, so what if I didn’t do a fucking thing wrong, I would still have to spend money to prove I was innocent and (money I do not have) and I could potentially come away with an arrest record, something I proudly can say I do not have. I have never had handcuffs utilized on me in that way!
So now my senses are alerted and I must go to one of my best friends and ask him for advice. Yes I have a lawyer for a close friend. He is literally the only one I know who is truly honest; otherwise we never would have become friends. But I hate asking him for advice, especially since I am a friend. Plus I know the advice I would give Mimi and me… Disassociate ourselves from these insane people in anyway we can. Unfortunately for the near future, we need the income the childcare brings in, so we are in quite the quandary. However, maybe because my senses are alerted, I can move in another direction with some stealth to avoid some psychotic trap he may cook up to sabotage my family. Yeah, I know mellow dramatic, but it sounded good. But really, I think this is a definite sign that caution must be taken with these folks.
So yet another chapter of strange tales from the burbs! HA!
posted by Just Call Me Jay at 4:50 AM
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