Sorry, No Monkey News Today… Just The Crazies, Boardroom Tables and Lots of Commas and Parentheticals!
Word Spelling, Grammar, and general proofing disclaimer… I did NO proofing on this entry, as I need to go and there is too much traffic around me to spend too much more time on this, lest I give myself away!
This week has been a frustrating week from a personal point of view, in so far as the financial punishment we took or rather chose not to take by merely forgoing a luxury item that today is not so much considered a luxury but a required item (I am making a clear distinction between a requirement and a need here). Mimi is working very hard to move from the sand to rock and me… well I am going to lay off being a whiney ass bitch for the moment.
Au contraire mon frere, that does not mean I am not going to bitch about something, just not about my sad state of affairs. However, regarding my state of affairs for one moment, I was apprised that maybe I am not being a whiney ass bitch because I am “a real person” with “real people” issues. Now that is cool, so thanks Brandy! You see much of the times, Mimi and I feel as if we are on this island, and everyone around us is doing so much better than us. So now at least I can point out to Mimi there is one other person who can relate!
Well on to other things here for a moment. Generally there is a single topic I hone in on, but I have several short topics (hopefully unless I begin to drone and ramble on about one thing) that I will hit. The first two I just find ridiculously humorous, and the third involves the Crazies. But let’s discuss (well I guess there is not much discussion, but I am not gonna fucking share because that is for windows users and left coasters [no offense you libs], and I do not want to tell you something as that is rude, so I will leave it at discuss) about commas and parenthesis, writing on tables, and Monkey News.
Now one of my favorite blogs is the Hot Librarian’s blog (this is besides Mimi’s blog of course) because I love her freakin stories. I mean, she has some fucked up shit that happens to her. But then again, what do you expect when you are a single chick living in California with a bunch of guys while going to what I suspect (I suspect because she only hints at it) is Berkley. That, in and of itself, is just asking for a bizarre life.
So I read her entry for the other day and found myself laughing aloud in the office. I love the way she writes and love her stories but some ass-hat (slightly less than an ass-clown) gave her shit because she writes wholly complicated multi subjected sentence and links them all together with commas, all the while making side comments via parenthesis (sound like anyone we know?). So she recognizes her grammar has a high suckage factor, although I do enjoy her sentence flow, but she ripped this guy a new one, and in quite the humorous way. So why do I mention this, well as I read the entry I realized one of the things I like about her style of writing is that from a structure perspective it is quite like mine. Now she is much better at the random use of hyperbole, similes and metaphors, but never the less, structurally we write in a similar manner. So I am not sure if you read my blog THL, but tell your grammatical correcting ass-hat he can kiss my ass too.
Next subject: A few months ago coming into work after a break, my peer tells me as we swap shifts that there has been a slight change on access to a conference room we use to meet with our people. Now look, this is getting really close to home so if there are any of my peers or management who have stumbled onto this blog and are reading the horrible shit I write about this pit of hell and the slave driving ass-clown non-leadership management fuckers that run this place, oh well. Mimi, I guess I will be jobless sooner than I expected. This policy comes form the idiotic and senseless, as if we were managing a daycare for adults. Some weeks ago, several folks from the management team had a big meeting and on the big conference table someone had felt it necessary prior to the managers meeting (prior; meaning probably over the past couple of weeks, and I opine this occurred during some training session held by another group who was allowed to use our conference room, but WTF does my opinion mean, right?) to write their name on this table with a blue pen.
Ok what a dumb ass thing to do. However, I maintain it most likely was not something one of our folks would do, because it is difficult to get the de-motivated staff to pay attention to the meeting in general, much less bring writing tools to our meetings. Sure it could have taken place during some other meeting with our group for some other issue, get together, or whatever. Regardless, I get in this one particular evening, and I am handed a key. That’s right, you know it, you won the $64,000 dollar question if you both asked and answered it, the key was for the conference room.
An email had been written and sent out to the entire staff, that writing had been found on our VERY expensive table (now that is not a joke, someone paid arms legs and a fucking torso for this table, if Mimi saw it her panties were she wearing any would get nice and moist and would want to use it regardless of who might be around. It is big and quite nice) and the room would now be locked and with the exception of management, one could only access the room under only the most strict guidelines, those of which I will not explain for reasons of extreme idiocy and brevity.
So now this conference room is locked up tighter than Fort Knox, I mean one would have an easier time enticing and corrupting a nun of the highest order before a “normal” person could gain access to this room. However, even with all the precautions, DNA sampling, retinal scans, polygraphs and body cavity searches, you would not believe what I found. So the other day we had a meeting and as I leaned back in my chair to stretch, since I was working on a half day (12 Hrs) at that point, I noticed under the lip of the table top on the recessed edge of the table someone else had written on the table. This time in large two inch letters spanning the height of the recessed edge. Well I am nobody’s fool I promise you. I saw that and thought to myself… “Hmmmm, should I alert someone to this newest instance of vandalism?” Well folks, I only thought about it for a few seconds before I came to the realization, that if I brought it to the attention of management I might well be assigned my own personal bottle of Lube since it is quite apparent neither my peers of I have not been doing our jobs policing the Boardroom Table Writing Bandit!. I have failed in such a woeful way for my management! What a fucking lousy employee, oh wait I am just a fucking contractor (That is what my manager said about contractors the other day, “Contractor Guy is not an employee he is just a contractor, so we should fire him for making that mistake, I said, Manager, I am a contractor…” WTF is that all about… DICK!).
Last order of business… Last evening Mimi and I had to go hit the Walmart (Yeah I know some of you guys have it out for Walmart… I am fucking lazy, I have no money and it is close to the house and dirt cheap to buy shit there… So I go to Walmart, you Walmart Haters) for a couple of things we needed. Well our conversation turned to the Crazies (I have talked about Mr. and Mrs. C, their children, Motormouth, The Bad Seed, Jeremy, and the Man baby… It is a marriage on the way to a horrible, horrible crash, and unfortunately we have let them into our lives to the point they are now intruding…). Mrs. C asked Mimi earlier in the day to intervene between her mother in-law (this was an effed up situation but thankfully nothing came if it) and her about an issue with the Man Baby (MB) should the mother in-law drop by. Mimi explained the situation never occurred, but this segued into another issue. When Mrs. C came to pick up MB, MB wanted a pair of my daughter’s shoes (I have mentioned this too, but refresher; MB likes to take my daughter’s shit in the afternoon as Mrs. C is taking her home, and asks Mimi if it is alright… sometime shit comes back, other times it does not. The issue is Mrs. C cannot be a grown up and a parent and tell the child NO, so she depends on one of us to be the fucking parent.) and so Mrs. C sits down on the couch with MB and starts putting the shoes on the child. Now these are my daughter’s shoes, and this woman is telling MB, “oh no these are Baby Mimi’s shoes, you cannot have these…” and apparently telling this child the same time over and over while she puts them on MB. Finally, she asks Mimi if it is alright if MB wears the shoes. Holy shit I am thinking, what is in this womans head besides stagnant air? This is just not right, I should shoot a laser pointer directly through her empty skull! So Mimi, takes MB and takes the shoes off the child with no fight, and hands MB back to Mrs. C who thanks Mimi, cause she did not want to make MB upset.
The night before, Mimi and Mrs. C talk and then it is related to me Mr. C was outside with MB (The rest of the brood is at their biological father’s place and then camp for the next few weeks, thus it is only Mr. & Mrs. C and MB.) and all of a sudden storms into the house, puts MB down somewhere and tells Mrs. C that MB is a brat just like the rest of her children. Well now I do not condone necessarily Mr. C calling his almost two year old daughter a brat… But he does have a point! Now I understand why the rest of her brood is the way they are and MB is already on that path!
Well, I have to go, have a great weekend, and maybe I will post something later this weekend. I am thinking I want to go to the library on Sunday, maybe Mimi can wear something conducive to some naughtiness.
This week has been a frustrating week from a personal point of view, in so far as the financial punishment we took or rather chose not to take by merely forgoing a luxury item that today is not so much considered a luxury but a required item (I am making a clear distinction between a requirement and a need here). Mimi is working very hard to move from the sand to rock and me… well I am going to lay off being a whiney ass bitch for the moment.
Au contraire mon frere, that does not mean I am not going to bitch about something, just not about my sad state of affairs. However, regarding my state of affairs for one moment, I was apprised that maybe I am not being a whiney ass bitch because I am “a real person” with “real people” issues. Now that is cool, so thanks Brandy! You see much of the times, Mimi and I feel as if we are on this island, and everyone around us is doing so much better than us. So now at least I can point out to Mimi there is one other person who can relate!
Well on to other things here for a moment. Generally there is a single topic I hone in on, but I have several short topics (hopefully unless I begin to drone and ramble on about one thing) that I will hit. The first two I just find ridiculously humorous, and the third involves the Crazies. But let’s discuss (well I guess there is not much discussion, but I am not gonna fucking share because that is for windows users and left coasters [no offense you libs], and I do not want to tell you something as that is rude, so I will leave it at discuss) about commas and parenthesis, writing on tables, and Monkey News.
Now one of my favorite blogs is the Hot Librarian’s blog (this is besides Mimi’s blog of course) because I love her freakin stories. I mean, she has some fucked up shit that happens to her. But then again, what do you expect when you are a single chick living in California with a bunch of guys while going to what I suspect (I suspect because she only hints at it) is Berkley. That, in and of itself, is just asking for a bizarre life.
So I read her entry for the other day and found myself laughing aloud in the office. I love the way she writes and love her stories but some ass-hat (slightly less than an ass-clown) gave her shit because she writes wholly complicated multi subjected sentence and links them all together with commas, all the while making side comments via parenthesis (sound like anyone we know?). So she recognizes her grammar has a high suckage factor, although I do enjoy her sentence flow, but she ripped this guy a new one, and in quite the humorous way. So why do I mention this, well as I read the entry I realized one of the things I like about her style of writing is that from a structure perspective it is quite like mine. Now she is much better at the random use of hyperbole, similes and metaphors, but never the less, structurally we write in a similar manner. So I am not sure if you read my blog THL, but tell your grammatical correcting ass-hat he can kiss my ass too.
Next subject: A few months ago coming into work after a break, my peer tells me as we swap shifts that there has been a slight change on access to a conference room we use to meet with our people. Now look, this is getting really close to home so if there are any of my peers or management who have stumbled onto this blog and are reading the horrible shit I write about this pit of hell and the slave driving ass-clown non-leadership management fuckers that run this place, oh well. Mimi, I guess I will be jobless sooner than I expected. This policy comes form the idiotic and senseless, as if we were managing a daycare for adults. Some weeks ago, several folks from the management team had a big meeting and on the big conference table someone had felt it necessary prior to the managers meeting (prior; meaning probably over the past couple of weeks, and I opine this occurred during some training session held by another group who was allowed to use our conference room, but WTF does my opinion mean, right?) to write their name on this table with a blue pen.
Ok what a dumb ass thing to do. However, I maintain it most likely was not something one of our folks would do, because it is difficult to get the de-motivated staff to pay attention to the meeting in general, much less bring writing tools to our meetings. Sure it could have taken place during some other meeting with our group for some other issue, get together, or whatever. Regardless, I get in this one particular evening, and I am handed a key. That’s right, you know it, you won the $64,000 dollar question if you both asked and answered it, the key was for the conference room.
An email had been written and sent out to the entire staff, that writing had been found on our VERY expensive table (now that is not a joke, someone paid arms legs and a fucking torso for this table, if Mimi saw it her panties were she wearing any would get nice and moist and would want to use it regardless of who might be around. It is big and quite nice) and the room would now be locked and with the exception of management, one could only access the room under only the most strict guidelines, those of which I will not explain for reasons of extreme idiocy and brevity.
So now this conference room is locked up tighter than Fort Knox, I mean one would have an easier time enticing and corrupting a nun of the highest order before a “normal” person could gain access to this room. However, even with all the precautions, DNA sampling, retinal scans, polygraphs and body cavity searches, you would not believe what I found. So the other day we had a meeting and as I leaned back in my chair to stretch, since I was working on a half day (12 Hrs) at that point, I noticed under the lip of the table top on the recessed edge of the table someone else had written on the table. This time in large two inch letters spanning the height of the recessed edge. Well I am nobody’s fool I promise you. I saw that and thought to myself… “Hmmmm, should I alert someone to this newest instance of vandalism?” Well folks, I only thought about it for a few seconds before I came to the realization, that if I brought it to the attention of management I might well be assigned my own personal bottle of Lube since it is quite apparent neither my peers of I have not been doing our jobs policing the Boardroom Table Writing Bandit!. I have failed in such a woeful way for my management! What a fucking lousy employee, oh wait I am just a fucking contractor (That is what my manager said about contractors the other day, “Contractor Guy is not an employee he is just a contractor, so we should fire him for making that mistake, I said, Manager, I am a contractor…” WTF is that all about… DICK!).
Last order of business… Last evening Mimi and I had to go hit the Walmart (Yeah I know some of you guys have it out for Walmart… I am fucking lazy, I have no money and it is close to the house and dirt cheap to buy shit there… So I go to Walmart, you Walmart Haters) for a couple of things we needed. Well our conversation turned to the Crazies (I have talked about Mr. and Mrs. C, their children, Motormouth, The Bad Seed, Jeremy, and the Man baby… It is a marriage on the way to a horrible, horrible crash, and unfortunately we have let them into our lives to the point they are now intruding…). Mrs. C asked Mimi earlier in the day to intervene between her mother in-law (this was an effed up situation but thankfully nothing came if it) and her about an issue with the Man Baby (MB) should the mother in-law drop by. Mimi explained the situation never occurred, but this segued into another issue. When Mrs. C came to pick up MB, MB wanted a pair of my daughter’s shoes (I have mentioned this too, but refresher; MB likes to take my daughter’s shit in the afternoon as Mrs. C is taking her home, and asks Mimi if it is alright… sometime shit comes back, other times it does not. The issue is Mrs. C cannot be a grown up and a parent and tell the child NO, so she depends on one of us to be the fucking parent.) and so Mrs. C sits down on the couch with MB and starts putting the shoes on the child. Now these are my daughter’s shoes, and this woman is telling MB, “oh no these are Baby Mimi’s shoes, you cannot have these…” and apparently telling this child the same time over and over while she puts them on MB. Finally, she asks Mimi if it is alright if MB wears the shoes. Holy shit I am thinking, what is in this womans head besides stagnant air? This is just not right, I should shoot a laser pointer directly through her empty skull! So Mimi, takes MB and takes the shoes off the child with no fight, and hands MB back to Mrs. C who thanks Mimi, cause she did not want to make MB upset.
The night before, Mimi and Mrs. C talk and then it is related to me Mr. C was outside with MB (The rest of the brood is at their biological father’s place and then camp for the next few weeks, thus it is only Mr. & Mrs. C and MB.) and all of a sudden storms into the house, puts MB down somewhere and tells Mrs. C that MB is a brat just like the rest of her children. Well now I do not condone necessarily Mr. C calling his almost two year old daughter a brat… But he does have a point! Now I understand why the rest of her brood is the way they are and MB is already on that path!
Well, I have to go, have a great weekend, and maybe I will post something later this weekend. I am thinking I want to go to the library on Sunday, maybe Mimi can wear something conducive to some naughtiness.
posted by Just Call Me Jay at 9:15 AM
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