Getting WOMPED Like A Gopher...
I do not watch a lot of television. I have one or two shows I prefer to watch on regular TV, but in general I stay away from network television and only watch commercial television for the news, and informational shows on channels like the Military, Discovery, and History channels and Animal Planet. When I watch TV, I generally watch movies. I prefer movies because I am not patient enough to sit through commercials, nor do I have the time generally if I want to watch some TV to sit and be told what I should buy.
There is one show I have grown quite fond of over the years, which has unfortunately been cancelled, Dead Like Me. For those of you not in the “know,” the show is about an 18 year old girl, Georgia (aka George) who dies by blunt force trauma from a toilet that came off the Mir space station upon reentering earths atmosphere (OK, so this toilet, an aluminum meteor-like ball of fire hurtled to earth in the exact spot George is standing, her last words… “Oh Shit,” she says with this look of unbelieving disgust, like “I am about to be blown up by a fucking toilet falling from the sky, what a sad pathetic way I am going to die… the chick blown up by a fucking toilet from space”). Upon her death she is visited upon by a reaper and finds out that she is to become a reaper as well, a Grim Reaper. The show is about how she copes with death, and the friendships and un-dead lives of her fellow reapers, while existing in the same city in which she grew up, while watching from a great distance her family as they cope with her death. I think, besides the incredibly dark humor of the show, I find it an endearing show because each episode has a meaning and sheds a pearl of thought provoking wisdom by episode’s end. Yeah I know… but I really do have sensitive side.
I bring DLM up, because I saw one of my favorite shows last night before coming into work. The issue before George was which is better, to be a nice person or not. At face value an easy question, but when you really stop to think about it, there are many facets to the question, to be nice or not? I would like to say something like ,”almost Shakespearean,” but I am not even in the same galaxy as that man. But the question is valid. From a religious or spiritual point of view, being a nice or good person is something we all strive for, but the question begs, who is it good for? Which was the basic question of the episode from DLM I watched? I mean you can be nice and get stomped on and hope karma takes care of you, or you can be an asshole, stomp the life out of everyone around you, be popular and get ahead!
Through out the show George was shown being mean and manipulative. Not understanding why she was being so, but by being so she was able to make people do what they were supposed to do, she was able to get her way and get things done. By the end of the episode, her lack of niceness lead, her to lose a potential boyfriend (which, being a reaper she is not supposed to have, but you would have to watch the show to understand that part). All through the episode, there were flashbacks to when George was a little girl and she was at a pool. She was at the pool and a friend who was a bit strange to George and the other little girls at the pool, but a friend never the less. At the beginning of the scene, George pushes Mary Beth into the pool to be cool, with the other little girls behind her laughing. However, by the end of the show, the tables turn, and Mary Beth turns on George, pushing George into the pool out of spite for the day of meanness from George. In an ironic twist, Mary Beth becomes the cool one, and George falls into the pool as all the girls laugh and accept Mary Beth into their group. Oh, the ruthlessness of children.
The pearl of wisdom was simple; at the end of the day you will be paid back in the same currency you dish out, being popular or doing things for yourself is ok, but in the end, karma comes back on you.
So you wonder what got into me to talk about karma and the whole thing about being nice? Well, I am afraid I was mean yesterday, and I unleashed on some people here at work. You may wonder, why would I do such a thing, well in fact I will tell you. I tired of waiting for karma. I am frustrated and I have very little wisdom to impart upon you who read this blog. I was thinking, maybe people want a pearl or two of wisdom from me, but I am quite sure that none of that is the case. There will be no Andy Griffith moments from me today folks. Nope, that just won’t happen, so get the fuck to your room Opey! But I did get pissed and I have set my karma back. WTF have I done.
I have asked myself of late where I have been cursed, what is it my wife and I did, to have to bear this cross we bear. Every time we think we get ahead, I feel like that fucking gopher that pops up out its hole and gets WOMPED right on the noggin! My wife was finally able to save a couple of bucks this month (at least so far). As it turns out, the effing dishwasher goes Tango Uniform, or that would be TU (still not registering, well don’t worry, that’s military speak for Tits Up). So now I have to call an appliance repair person to come fix the damn thing because Mimi doesn’t need to be washing dishes by hand with all the dishes we create and all the other shit she does. I mean we barely have time for her to participate in all my reindeer games (seriously no sarcasm there… I mean we flat out barely have time these days). Speaking of which, if you go to Mimi’s blog, she has a pretty fantastic list of places we have had sex. If there are any you find missing, please make suggestions, we are always looking for new adventure spots.
BTW honey, it just occurred to me you forgot about the walk way the other month where I thought we might have gotten caught!
So back to karma, and being nice… As it all comes together, I was in a foul mood yesterday, and I unleashed on a co-worker (he’s pretty much a pussy anyway – and I do not think it’s just because he is Canadian, so no offense Canada). He was not happy that he was going to have to work solo a couple of nights a week and did not want to do that since we added a new person to our organization. Me... I really could give a fuck, I prefer to be alone with this job. At any rate, he suggests that we all three discuss the shift schedule again. I shared with him (LOL, what a fucking pussy thing sharing is… No, I flat out told his ass) that I am not changing my shift, our management has fucked me enough, so if he wants to change something he would have to talk it over with the new guy and work it out with him. He tells me that I am part of the team and we need to work this out together. I had to inform him I keep getting fucked by the “TEAM” when I help out, so the team and management can fuck themselves. He can figure the shit out himself.
Ok, now look I recognize I am supposed to be a professional, but every time I ask for help it is like pulling teeth. I am stuck on this bullshit night shift and until I find something else, well I am stuck here. So I have stopped being cooperative. Prima donna Jay is coming out! So yes I am being mean, but I have no expectations of popularity here. I am in a shallow foxhole with limited cover and I am hunkering down popping up with some suppressing fire and waiting till I can move in for the kill.
Funny how things work out; prior to me coming in and losing my shit on my coworker, Mimi and I noticed a potential problem with the dishwasher. I fiddled with it some and miraculously, it began working. I fucking dodged another bullet! I came home late this morning because, of course, it was necessary to have yet another meeting and a hip pocket training session. Unfortunately the person giving the training didn’t know what the fuck she was doing and knew as much about the material as we did. So a 20 to 30 minute presentation took an hour and a half. Dumb-ass training person! I want to cal her something else, but she too, is a coworker, and I want to be a little nice. So I came home and guess what…. WOMP (I am a fucking gopher again)… Karma bent me over and rammed oh so hard! The dishwasher is truly fucked, so the money saved, is money spent to fix the dishwasher.
Unlike the Hot Librarian, I did not take a rock form some sacred mountain, and I have never given a double bird salute in church. Unlike the Girl With a One Track Mind, I never got busted masturbating by my folks with all my shit splayed out (that story cracked me the fuck up!). I did get busted by someone’s parent having sex with their daughter, but that was a really long time ago, and truly the statute of limitations, even for karma, has expired. My wife is a spiritual kind of woman, I know we do not go to church but we barely have enough time for each other and we really do try to get to church… So people I need some pointers. I need to get into the good graces of karma.
So without shaving my head, wearing a robe and giving out flowers, WTF can I do. I am looking for pointers. I am tired of getting womped like that poor fucking gopher!
There is one show I have grown quite fond of over the years, which has unfortunately been cancelled, Dead Like Me. For those of you not in the “know,” the show is about an 18 year old girl, Georgia (aka George) who dies by blunt force trauma from a toilet that came off the Mir space station upon reentering earths atmosphere (OK, so this toilet, an aluminum meteor-like ball of fire hurtled to earth in the exact spot George is standing, her last words… “Oh Shit,” she says with this look of unbelieving disgust, like “I am about to be blown up by a fucking toilet falling from the sky, what a sad pathetic way I am going to die… the chick blown up by a fucking toilet from space”). Upon her death she is visited upon by a reaper and finds out that she is to become a reaper as well, a Grim Reaper. The show is about how she copes with death, and the friendships and un-dead lives of her fellow reapers, while existing in the same city in which she grew up, while watching from a great distance her family as they cope with her death. I think, besides the incredibly dark humor of the show, I find it an endearing show because each episode has a meaning and sheds a pearl of thought provoking wisdom by episode’s end. Yeah I know… but I really do have sensitive side.
I bring DLM up, because I saw one of my favorite shows last night before coming into work. The issue before George was which is better, to be a nice person or not. At face value an easy question, but when you really stop to think about it, there are many facets to the question, to be nice or not? I would like to say something like ,”almost Shakespearean,” but I am not even in the same galaxy as that man. But the question is valid. From a religious or spiritual point of view, being a nice or good person is something we all strive for, but the question begs, who is it good for? Which was the basic question of the episode from DLM I watched? I mean you can be nice and get stomped on and hope karma takes care of you, or you can be an asshole, stomp the life out of everyone around you, be popular and get ahead!
Through out the show George was shown being mean and manipulative. Not understanding why she was being so, but by being so she was able to make people do what they were supposed to do, she was able to get her way and get things done. By the end of the episode, her lack of niceness lead, her to lose a potential boyfriend (which, being a reaper she is not supposed to have, but you would have to watch the show to understand that part). All through the episode, there were flashbacks to when George was a little girl and she was at a pool. She was at the pool and a friend who was a bit strange to George and the other little girls at the pool, but a friend never the less. At the beginning of the scene, George pushes Mary Beth into the pool to be cool, with the other little girls behind her laughing. However, by the end of the show, the tables turn, and Mary Beth turns on George, pushing George into the pool out of spite for the day of meanness from George. In an ironic twist, Mary Beth becomes the cool one, and George falls into the pool as all the girls laugh and accept Mary Beth into their group. Oh, the ruthlessness of children.
The pearl of wisdom was simple; at the end of the day you will be paid back in the same currency you dish out, being popular or doing things for yourself is ok, but in the end, karma comes back on you.
So you wonder what got into me to talk about karma and the whole thing about being nice? Well, I am afraid I was mean yesterday, and I unleashed on some people here at work. You may wonder, why would I do such a thing, well in fact I will tell you. I tired of waiting for karma. I am frustrated and I have very little wisdom to impart upon you who read this blog. I was thinking, maybe people want a pearl or two of wisdom from me, but I am quite sure that none of that is the case. There will be no Andy Griffith moments from me today folks. Nope, that just won’t happen, so get the fuck to your room Opey! But I did get pissed and I have set my karma back. WTF have I done.
I have asked myself of late where I have been cursed, what is it my wife and I did, to have to bear this cross we bear. Every time we think we get ahead, I feel like that fucking gopher that pops up out its hole and gets WOMPED right on the noggin! My wife was finally able to save a couple of bucks this month (at least so far). As it turns out, the effing dishwasher goes Tango Uniform, or that would be TU (still not registering, well don’t worry, that’s military speak for Tits Up). So now I have to call an appliance repair person to come fix the damn thing because Mimi doesn’t need to be washing dishes by hand with all the dishes we create and all the other shit she does. I mean we barely have time for her to participate in all my reindeer games (seriously no sarcasm there… I mean we flat out barely have time these days). Speaking of which, if you go to Mimi’s blog, she has a pretty fantastic list of places we have had sex. If there are any you find missing, please make suggestions, we are always looking for new adventure spots.
BTW honey, it just occurred to me you forgot about the walk way the other month where I thought we might have gotten caught!
So back to karma, and being nice… As it all comes together, I was in a foul mood yesterday, and I unleashed on a co-worker (he’s pretty much a pussy anyway – and I do not think it’s just because he is Canadian, so no offense Canada). He was not happy that he was going to have to work solo a couple of nights a week and did not want to do that since we added a new person to our organization. Me... I really could give a fuck, I prefer to be alone with this job. At any rate, he suggests that we all three discuss the shift schedule again. I shared with him (LOL, what a fucking pussy thing sharing is… No, I flat out told his ass) that I am not changing my shift, our management has fucked me enough, so if he wants to change something he would have to talk it over with the new guy and work it out with him. He tells me that I am part of the team and we need to work this out together. I had to inform him I keep getting fucked by the “TEAM” when I help out, so the team and management can fuck themselves. He can figure the shit out himself.
Ok, now look I recognize I am supposed to be a professional, but every time I ask for help it is like pulling teeth. I am stuck on this bullshit night shift and until I find something else, well I am stuck here. So I have stopped being cooperative. Prima donna Jay is coming out! So yes I am being mean, but I have no expectations of popularity here. I am in a shallow foxhole with limited cover and I am hunkering down popping up with some suppressing fire and waiting till I can move in for the kill.
Funny how things work out; prior to me coming in and losing my shit on my coworker, Mimi and I noticed a potential problem with the dishwasher. I fiddled with it some and miraculously, it began working. I fucking dodged another bullet! I came home late this morning because, of course, it was necessary to have yet another meeting and a hip pocket training session. Unfortunately the person giving the training didn’t know what the fuck she was doing and knew as much about the material as we did. So a 20 to 30 minute presentation took an hour and a half. Dumb-ass training person! I want to cal her something else, but she too, is a coworker, and I want to be a little nice. So I came home and guess what…. WOMP (I am a fucking gopher again)… Karma bent me over and rammed oh so hard! The dishwasher is truly fucked, so the money saved, is money spent to fix the dishwasher.
Unlike the Hot Librarian, I did not take a rock form some sacred mountain, and I have never given a double bird salute in church. Unlike the Girl With a One Track Mind, I never got busted masturbating by my folks with all my shit splayed out (that story cracked me the fuck up!). I did get busted by someone’s parent having sex with their daughter, but that was a really long time ago, and truly the statute of limitations, even for karma, has expired. My wife is a spiritual kind of woman, I know we do not go to church but we barely have enough time for each other and we really do try to get to church… So people I need some pointers. I need to get into the good graces of karma.
So without shaving my head, wearing a robe and giving out flowers, WTF can I do. I am looking for pointers. I am tired of getting womped like that poor fucking gopher!
posted by Just Call Me Jay at 6:44 AM
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