Cleavage - "...soft smooth partial globe-like mounds of flesh..."

That was an outburst last night. An adult equivalent of a tantrum. I was really pretty pissed last night, not that I am not tonight, as I am at work. That in and of itself (work I mean) pisses me off these days. I got a bit more sleep today, still not enough to feel completely rested, but I am functional. And my manager, FF, still has me quite perturbed, but I will discuss FF in another entry that I am saving up just for him and his backstabbing antics. And thanks Rachel for the “AMEN” (for those of you not quite ejimakated in the Southern ways, that is AMEN as in AY-MEN) I am glad there is someone out there who is with me! Not that there are not others, but what can you do but acknowledge someone who gives you a nice Southern “Amen” for a rant, right?

I wanted to tell my readership some good news, but alas, I have none to report yet. All is status quo, which not only disappoints me but pretty much depresses me. However, being the eternal optimist, I will not let my situation beat me down. I mean things could be much worse; much, much worse actually. I have been down to the depths of abject poverty and in the middle of a divorce, and etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Today I have an intelligent and beautiful wife, two great kids, my “mistress” a menagerie of animals, working automobiles and healthy parents and siblings. So really other than despising my job which I do get paid to do, I really should not bitch. In that list of things I have three main gripes; I do not make enough money (none of us do – at least in the macrocosm of normal folk), I hate my job (A lot of people are in this boat as well), and I don’t get as much sleep as I should or need (this too is something that is quite common, but if you are an over achiever or driven person this doesn’t matter unless they really, really can’t stand their piece of shit job). Oh yeah, I fucking cannot stand my job, so that is four things. I know it is already on my list, but I want to add it to my list for added emphases, especially since I hate lists and when I take off the fact I hate my job (my hope is that I will take that off very soon), then I will take off two things and have a much shorter list. AND, should my current situation change, I will be able to take off the money thing and the sleep thing pretty quickly as well. Now bear in mind also, I will add the “not enough money” thing on there, shortly after it comes off, since as I have stated no one ever makes enough or has too much money.

Really, I want to talk about our friends in Britain, and moronic terrorists. And believe me these Muslim extremists are a bunch of moronic terrorists. However that will have to wait for another day as well.

I was reading another blog which mentioned something near and dear to my heart… Low rise jeans and shorts with butt cleavage. Now according to ESS and her butt cleavage story, this was no cleavage I wanted to see, if you want to know more about it, you are going to have to check out her story. I only want to focus on nice smooth, pristine butt cleavage only made possible by the inventor of low rise jeans and shorts. I am not sure who invented this “style” and heavenly concept, but I think the fashion came from Brazil. “Oh thank and bless you, the creator and maker of low rise wearables!”

See, I have this whole fetish (I cannot think of what else it could be or a better word for this thing of mine) about women purposely or accidentally flashing in public (if you can get through the beginning there is a flashing story about Mimi). I encourage my Mimi to do this for me quite often and I live for the summers in the South because women tend to wear less, a lot less, thus intentionally, but mostly unintentionally flashing cleavage, panties and the lack thereof, their legs and shoulders. I love women and their curves and the way they look in general, dazzling works of art by God.

The winter is so dreary and women must bundle up and I miss their legs and short shorts, and tiny skirts, and their deep cut “V” tops and halters in the winter. But, along came the low rise jean and the winters became a myriad of butt cleavage. And in the last year the whole thing with the pelvic bone has made low rise jeans even better. I am telling you, when Mimi wears low rise jeans, I pop wood! It is a lovely thing to be walking down the street or in the mall and some random woman is bent over and her tattoo and butt cleavage pops out to greeting me. I must say I do get a smile when such events take place.

Now what I find interesting and down right humorous is I see the media frenzy about how sleazy butt cleavage is, and how it is tacky, and how this should not be socially acceptable. And I agree… that is if you are little teeny bopper sporting butt cleavage, a halter top so both her tits and ass are hanging out. That is absolutely wrong. I cannot stand walking into a store and seeing a girl who is obviously in high school or younger sporting this kind of clothing while shopping with her mother. What is the mother thinking? Hey lemme pimp my daughter out and let her dress however she wants so hard dicked boys will flock to her. Nope, that is something a woman can do when they have left the nest.

But I seriously digress… So there is media hype about butt cleavage and I ask, what is so wrong with a nice ass crack? I think it is hot. I mean no one ever has a problem with breast cleavage. Geez, the commercials, designers and the very women who report about butt cleavage wear clothing to enhance the looks of their breasts and breast cleavage. So I ask what is the difference between different and diverse sets of cleavage?

Now I recognize there are some women who cannot sport butt cleavage and they feel left out, but there are many women who have no problem sporting butt cleavage but are short on the breast cleavage side. I think there is hypocrisy in that argument as well, I believe if you have cleavage you should expose it and be proud. I mean there is some comforting and stimulating about the soft smooth partial globe-like mounds of flesh exposed that makes you just want to lie your head upon them or gently run your tongue down between the gently sloping cleavage area. You just know how wonderful that skin would taste as your tongue caresses those breasts or butt cheeks. Mmmmmmmmmmm, man I am sporting wood as I write this now!

So yes, some may think it is tacky, but I for one do not. As a matter of fact, I have a renewed fondness of g-strings. You see, Mimi likes to go commando quite often and I applaud her and all women who go commando, it makes a spontaneous sexual tryst much easier to pull off especially if there is a dress involved and it is in a public or semi-public place. However, the first time I saw a MILF sporting a g-string in low-rise jeans, I became instantly horny and started bugging Mimi to get some of these wonderful jeans.

Of course, Mimi, being the sensible woman she is, although sexually depraved (nothing of course that I am complaining about in the least), she was quite hesitant to buy them. Once bought and worn, she loved the jeans, as did I. So now she wears and adores her low rise jeans and shorts for other reasons than I. Never the less, she also started wearing g-strings with them and that really blew my mind. Now, yes I understand that underwear is supposed to be worn UNDER there, but the satiny lacy pretty things should be shown off. I think it is perfectly acceptable to decorate your butt cleavage. I mean women go out of their way to wear lacy, satiny bras all the time. And seriously, you can be shy and bashful about it, but you really do want to show off your cleavage in your hot looking lacy and mesh bras just as long as you are not sporting nipple. That would be like wearing something and sporting your clit, and even I agree that is a bit tacky. A flash now and then is ok, but out and out pussy cleavage is over the top.

So to conclude this discourse on butt cleavage, I want all you wonderfully lovely women to know, it is OK and even encouraged to sport butt cleavage. I am such a pervert, I think I will even ask that you send pics of your butt cleavage to me and I will post it. Just your butt cleavage I will post, you can send any other pics you want because Mimi loves looking at women as much as I do, but I will only post your butt cleavage pics if you send them. They can be commando, decorated with a nice g-string, you can send a collage of your own butt in various stages of dress form bare to cleaved and even showcasing your tattoos. It doesn’t matter all butt cleavage is welcome.

There is one caveat… If you have heat rash, wait till it goes away to send the picture; we only want the best pictures of your butt cleavage.

I wonder how my use of butt and breast and cleavage will fare on the internet and different search engines. I wonder?