I have been Office Space-ed
2nd Post of the Night!
I have been working on a blog post most of the night, not really giving a shit about this place. I am pissed. I got some fucked up news from a consulting company I have been working with on this new position I was supposed to get a start date on from last week. Well, thankfully my consultant is not jerking me around, but it appears the end client is fucking slow as molasses in January, slow like pond water… If these fucking people moved any faster, they would be moving backwards. Bureaucracy, that is what is keeping me in my hell hole.
As one of my buddies put it to me today… At least there is light at the end of the tunnel… I could give a shit about the light, I wanna get the fuck out of the tunnel and somewhere I can get a view of the landscape. In the Army, they say never give a map and compass to a Butter Bar (2nd Lt) cause they will get you lost if you are following the Yellow Brick Rd. Well, that ain’t far from the truth, I really do not know what the fuck it is, but some people couldn’t navigate themselves off the toilet. Now I am not great at a whole lot of things, but I can navigate my ass off. Give me a map, and a compass, and drop me about anywhere and tell me where you want me to end up and I will get there without any problem. I recall when I got to my first unit, we went on this field exercise and I swear to fucking God we marched for almost 12 hrs straight through the woods in a single column. I fucking could not believe this shit. As it all turned out we missed our objective by 5 hours and could have been on-site in 3 hours after we started moving. But this Lt couldn’t read a map if he had computer and Mapquest in front of him.
I feel like I am right back there today… I am marching aimlessly and enduring the torture of this place that I hate so very much. Yes I get paid, and yes I do have time to blog, and sure I could be working for half the pay or not at all. But that doesn’t matter, I am working and getting paid and it sucks, just to a different degree than if I were unemployed. I find myself apathetic and uncaring and doing just enough of what I have to do to keep from being fired.
To add insult to injury, I am talking to a buddy of mine, and he informs me that our current consulting firm started fucking us and he asked me what I thought about it. I said WTF are you talking about? He told me about how we were not making time and a half for OT work now. Ok, so let me lay it on the line, first, in my industry you generally only make straight time, but when I was offered this job it was offered with time and a half for OT, part of my SIGNED offer. Secondly, when I accepted this job, I was hungry and I was hired to perform another role. And bearing in mind most consulting gigs don’t pay OT like this one did, I took the shitty rate they offered me because when the OT was added in based on the expected work week, I would be making pretty much my normal billing rate. So I accepted the position. Now being thrust into this job I am working now, I lost most of my OT which made me none too happy since we were close to getting all our financial issues wrapped up at the time I was thrust into this bullshit position.
So now I am told these fuckers are telling my buddy no more time and a half… The reason, they told him was that based on our billing rate, we did not qualify for time and a half. But let me tell you what its really all about… You see, these fuckers at the company I work at are cutting costs every way they can to include cutting people’s pay and contractor pay when they can bully the vendors. The vendors say no problem, we will take it from our contractors. Well, there are a few of us, me included that would simply put our toys down and walk if they fucked with our pay. So they cow to this company and take it out of the backend, but if they pay OT, the consulting company loses money. Now does that make a fuck to me? No it does not folks. My buddy called them already and they gave him this song and dance about how after auditing the accounts it was discovered we were getting time and a half, and that initially they decided they would back bill us for the half time earned over the past year when we got OT. HAHAHAHA, I am fucking losing it on that. Oh yeah, come and back bill me for an agreement already made plus the fact if this is actually true, it was your mistake any fucking way! So they decided to be nice and reasonable about the whole thing, and let the past time and a half go… Well fuck them and the horse they road in on! So what am I going to do about it?
You see, I have a pretty bad temper when I am driven to the edge, but I do not yell at and abuse the people I work with or who work for me. I do not beat my wife or children. I do not randomly serial murder people, I don’t have the time to really go and work out like I should or want to do when I get like this, so this is what I do.
I generally have a list of shit to do and you all should know what I think about lists by now. So to work on something from a list sucks in the first place, but as part of my lists there are always those people you have to call, because they haven’t called you back, or they fucked something up from the beginning and still have not gotten it straight, or something wasn’t done at all, or you are just getting shitty service. Well this is one of those things that get put on my list, a nuisance list basically. Now this is a great stress reliever in the world of lists. So instead of doing something bad to people or strangers, you take your frustrations out on those people who cannot help but fuck your life up and leave you hanging!
My consultant firm is now on this list. Once I confirm with Mimi that my consulting firm has been raping me like that ghost in The Entity, I am going to turn the tables on them. No shit will be taken from those assholes who have signed a piece of paper. You know how in “Office Space”* the Bobs are talking about Milton and the fact they fixed the “glitch” so Milton won’t get paid and it will all just work itself out… Well that is what my consulting firm just pulled on me. They can fuck themselves cause now I am coming after them.
So I guess I got my rant in anyway!
*
Bob Slydell: Milton Waddams.
Dom Portwood: Who's he?
Bob Porter: You know, squirrely looking guy, mumbles a lot.
Dom Portwood: Oh, yeah.
Bob Slydell: Yeah, we can't actually find a record of him being a current employee here.
Bob Porter: I looked into it more deeply and I found that apparently what happened is that he was laid off five years ago and no one ever told him, but through some kind of glitch in the payroll department, he still gets a paycheck.
Bob Slydell: So we just went a ahead and fixed the glitch.
Bill Lumbergh: Great.
Dom Portwood: So um, Milton has been let go?
Bob Slydell: Well just a second there, professor. We uh, we fixed the *glitch*. So he won't be receiving a paycheck anymore, so it will just work itself out naturally.
Bob Porter: We always like to avoid confrontation, whenever possible. Problem solved from your end
I have been working on a blog post most of the night, not really giving a shit about this place. I am pissed. I got some fucked up news from a consulting company I have been working with on this new position I was supposed to get a start date on from last week. Well, thankfully my consultant is not jerking me around, but it appears the end client is fucking slow as molasses in January, slow like pond water… If these fucking people moved any faster, they would be moving backwards. Bureaucracy, that is what is keeping me in my hell hole.
As one of my buddies put it to me today… At least there is light at the end of the tunnel… I could give a shit about the light, I wanna get the fuck out of the tunnel and somewhere I can get a view of the landscape. In the Army, they say never give a map and compass to a Butter Bar (2nd Lt) cause they will get you lost if you are following the Yellow Brick Rd. Well, that ain’t far from the truth, I really do not know what the fuck it is, but some people couldn’t navigate themselves off the toilet. Now I am not great at a whole lot of things, but I can navigate my ass off. Give me a map, and a compass, and drop me about anywhere and tell me where you want me to end up and I will get there without any problem. I recall when I got to my first unit, we went on this field exercise and I swear to fucking God we marched for almost 12 hrs straight through the woods in a single column. I fucking could not believe this shit. As it all turned out we missed our objective by 5 hours and could have been on-site in 3 hours after we started moving. But this Lt couldn’t read a map if he had computer and Mapquest in front of him.
I feel like I am right back there today… I am marching aimlessly and enduring the torture of this place that I hate so very much. Yes I get paid, and yes I do have time to blog, and sure I could be working for half the pay or not at all. But that doesn’t matter, I am working and getting paid and it sucks, just to a different degree than if I were unemployed. I find myself apathetic and uncaring and doing just enough of what I have to do to keep from being fired.
To add insult to injury, I am talking to a buddy of mine, and he informs me that our current consulting firm started fucking us and he asked me what I thought about it. I said WTF are you talking about? He told me about how we were not making time and a half for OT work now. Ok, so let me lay it on the line, first, in my industry you generally only make straight time, but when I was offered this job it was offered with time and a half for OT, part of my SIGNED offer. Secondly, when I accepted this job, I was hungry and I was hired to perform another role. And bearing in mind most consulting gigs don’t pay OT like this one did, I took the shitty rate they offered me because when the OT was added in based on the expected work week, I would be making pretty much my normal billing rate. So I accepted the position. Now being thrust into this job I am working now, I lost most of my OT which made me none too happy since we were close to getting all our financial issues wrapped up at the time I was thrust into this bullshit position.
So now I am told these fuckers are telling my buddy no more time and a half… The reason, they told him was that based on our billing rate, we did not qualify for time and a half. But let me tell you what its really all about… You see, these fuckers at the company I work at are cutting costs every way they can to include cutting people’s pay and contractor pay when they can bully the vendors. The vendors say no problem, we will take it from our contractors. Well, there are a few of us, me included that would simply put our toys down and walk if they fucked with our pay. So they cow to this company and take it out of the backend, but if they pay OT, the consulting company loses money. Now does that make a fuck to me? No it does not folks. My buddy called them already and they gave him this song and dance about how after auditing the accounts it was discovered we were getting time and a half, and that initially they decided they would back bill us for the half time earned over the past year when we got OT. HAHAHAHA, I am fucking losing it on that. Oh yeah, come and back bill me for an agreement already made plus the fact if this is actually true, it was your mistake any fucking way! So they decided to be nice and reasonable about the whole thing, and let the past time and a half go… Well fuck them and the horse they road in on! So what am I going to do about it?
You see, I have a pretty bad temper when I am driven to the edge, but I do not yell at and abuse the people I work with or who work for me. I do not beat my wife or children. I do not randomly serial murder people, I don’t have the time to really go and work out like I should or want to do when I get like this, so this is what I do.
I generally have a list of shit to do and you all should know what I think about lists by now. So to work on something from a list sucks in the first place, but as part of my lists there are always those people you have to call, because they haven’t called you back, or they fucked something up from the beginning and still have not gotten it straight, or something wasn’t done at all, or you are just getting shitty service. Well this is one of those things that get put on my list, a nuisance list basically. Now this is a great stress reliever in the world of lists. So instead of doing something bad to people or strangers, you take your frustrations out on those people who cannot help but fuck your life up and leave you hanging!
My consultant firm is now on this list. Once I confirm with Mimi that my consulting firm has been raping me like that ghost in The Entity, I am going to turn the tables on them. No shit will be taken from those assholes who have signed a piece of paper. You know how in “Office Space”* the Bobs are talking about Milton and the fact they fixed the “glitch” so Milton won’t get paid and it will all just work itself out… Well that is what my consulting firm just pulled on me. They can fuck themselves cause now I am coming after them.
So I guess I got my rant in anyway!
*
Bob Slydell: Milton Waddams.
Dom Portwood: Who's he?
Bob Porter: You know, squirrely looking guy, mumbles a lot.
Dom Portwood: Oh, yeah.
Bob Slydell: Yeah, we can't actually find a record of him being a current employee here.
Bob Porter: I looked into it more deeply and I found that apparently what happened is that he was laid off five years ago and no one ever told him, but through some kind of glitch in the payroll department, he still gets a paycheck.
Bob Slydell: So we just went a ahead and fixed the glitch.
Bill Lumbergh: Great.
Dom Portwood: So um, Milton has been let go?
Bob Slydell: Well just a second there, professor. We uh, we fixed the *glitch*. So he won't be receiving a paycheck anymore, so it will just work itself out naturally.
Bob Porter: We always like to avoid confrontation, whenever possible. Problem solved from your end
posted by Just Call Me Jay at 6:29 AM
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