Good News, Bad News, Disappointment and Rejoicing...
I am a number. What number I am is really not relevant, but a number I am no less. We walk in and out of buildings and we sign in or we use our badge key or even use both things to come and go from our office. In some cases we walk on to an elevator and crowded in this elevator, we disperse to different places on different floors. From a great distance we are like many ants toiling and ceaselessly working. Sure we have weekends, but what do we do for weekends? We come home and get hopelessly drunk or stoned, or maybe we enjoy the night stone cold sober. But come Saturday morning there are yards to cut, there are projects to start and complete. Come Sunday morning we go to church, unless you practice a religion other than Christianity, and if that is the case, you might have already attended a religious service. Some wake up on Sunday morning and have a nice breakfast and by the time Church is complete, breakfast made, eaten and cleaned up, it is late morning and yet, more projects or yard work needs to be done. We may have a few minutes to have “Family” time or some down time to re-charge. On Monday morning we are once again little worker ants.
So I ask you… On Monday morning does anyone really care if you come to work? Besides the fact there are TPS reports to complete and meetings to make because you are the “expert.” They really do not care. You and I are expendable. Did they really take you into consideration when they came to you and said, “oh, by the way… we have to let you go…” No they didn’t give a shit about you, some asshole in another state did some math and found you got paid way too much, or his buddy does the same thing as you, and even though your performance is better, his buddy is staying and you are not. No, Corporate America doesn’t give a shit about who you are or your circumstances. CA is only concerned about the bottom line. If you are not a producer, and are not bringing in the numbers… you are history. It doesn’t matter that your wife had a brand new baby 3 months ago. Nope, that shit doesn’t matter. They do not care that you worked your ass off doing sixty to seventy hours a week so their shit ass sales force can fuck up sales by selling shit the company doesn’t even offer, and when they come to you they beg you for a fucking solution.
I still today cannot believe I asked “why me… why not Joe…” What a fucking schmuck I was. I mean I was really pissed at the company and I was asking why one of my direct reports did not get the axe instead of me. And that guy went on to take my position.
But I am a number. It doesn’t matter that I have seen the brink of financial destruction, and I have survived the worst of it all the while taking care of my obligations. I might have been late here and there, and it may have taken a while to get regular payment on track and it may have taken some negotiation to get an affordable payment. But that is not the point. The point is, that I am a number and because of X, Y, and Z, my NUMBERS do not look right so fuck you.
Yeah I am sounding pretty bitter. I got a new job today. I got offered a pretty fucking nice salary, with a full benefits package. And that is fucking awesome. But a cloud looms over me. I am still a slave to CA, and I am creditless, and am taking a position that is completely new to me, even though it is within the field I practice. I may be tired, I am certainly not ungrateful. I think I am just tentative. In fact I am most peeved about how I am leaving the current organization with which I am employed.
You see, I had a fantasy. With all the shit I have endured and all the crap that has been thrown at me, I wanted to leave with a bang. Now I am leaving like any other employee. You know they say never burn bridges… well I was going to destroy the bridge with a nuclear weapon. I am sure I have at least alluded to the fact, my position, a job though it may be, is a key position in my organization from an operational standpoint. And that it takes several months to train someone how to do this job decently and a while to do it effectively.
My fantasy, which has been dashed, was to leave at a moment’s notice. But I also held out that I might also make a little money out of a promise to stay for two weeks. However this was only under the ability to be on-boarded at my new organization. My new organization gave me a two week window to report. So here I am at my current job being forced to wait. And unfortunately I need to maintain cash flow, so I can’t just fucking walk, which I wish I could do. The satisfaction meter would jump the scale!
My Fantasy was to call my contracting company, tell them my last day is tomorrow. But I will work for two weeks if I get a ten percent bump and eighty hours additional pay at the end of the two weeks. Otherwise I was just going to walk. And I had no plans to tell anyone here. But as I have said… all has been dashed by my new company because my HR person will be on vacation next week and she has to prepare a number of things so I really could not start as soon as Monday.
I have been imagining how I would go see my manager here, and tell him I was walking, see ya, have a nice life. But that is assuming I had a job to go to tomorrow. I do not and being the principled kind of guy I am, I am not sure I would feel right waiting for two weeks and walking. Too many things could happen; too many issues could arise between now and then. It would also be a purely spiteful thing to do. I mean if I was offered today and they asked for me to start or told me I could start Monday, hey what am I going to do, say no? I think not!
As it turns out, my fantasy is smashed to a million pieces. I will put in my two weeks properly and deal with another eight shifts including tonight’s shift. I am taking off the Friday before my new job simply because I really won’t have Sunday off since I will be flying north to meet with some people and do a few days of training. And secondly, I think I deserve a couple of days off. I would like to take the whole week, but we cannot go that long without cash flow.
In some ways I feel a total let down. I expected a parade and cheers and all sorts of fanfare, but I seemed to have adopted a whole new set of concerns and issues. My main concern is the fact I have no credit to my name. Before I got laid off, things were tight and we were bleeding money, but with some help from parentals, I was able to prop us back up. And yes things did get behind after being laid off and I did have to pick and choose what got paid and what did not. But by the time I started this position, I was on the verge of bringing everything back together. I was then relegated to this position (a promotion they told me, just that I did not get OT which is my gravy) and I made some very tough decisions after Christmas to prevent us from having to claim bankruptcy. I let Mimi take over bills, so she could better concentrate on them and we entered consumer credit counseling since I could not get most creditors to negotiate with me. I did this knowing full well that CCS would wreck our credit even more than it had already been wrecked to date. But the pay off was negotiated interest rates, suspension of fees and loss of credit lines. But I knew that was the only way we could save ourselves.
Today we live frugally and although it is a struggle each month, with the money I bring in from various jobs, and Mimi’s sitting, we get by. I know we will soon have a decent lifestyle change as long as we remain disciplined. And this is an opportunity for us to get back on our feet and make other things happen. Unfortunately the lingering effects of the past few years have dampened the good news I have just received not to mention all the work it has taken to receive this news. I have never interviewed so many times and at such depths with any organization to get a position, but I am thankful for the opportunity. Now I just need to get this financial thing back under control.
Now, on the bright side, I have a new job, I will be starting in two weeks. It is in the field I enjoy most, and it is a consulting role at which I should be able to excel. With the switch back to a normal schedule, with me not having to look for a job on my every minute off, I do have a business plan I plan to put into action and with Mimi’s assistance, have another source of revenue. The best part of this business plan, is that should it work out, Mimi and I will have fun implementing it as it will require us to know what we will be selling to our future clients. And who knows… You may be one of those clients, and maybe this time next year, I will experience another lifestyle change.
When I roll out my product/service, I promise I will let you all know about it.
So I ask you… On Monday morning does anyone really care if you come to work? Besides the fact there are TPS reports to complete and meetings to make because you are the “expert.” They really do not care. You and I are expendable. Did they really take you into consideration when they came to you and said, “oh, by the way… we have to let you go…” No they didn’t give a shit about you, some asshole in another state did some math and found you got paid way too much, or his buddy does the same thing as you, and even though your performance is better, his buddy is staying and you are not. No, Corporate America doesn’t give a shit about who you are or your circumstances. CA is only concerned about the bottom line. If you are not a producer, and are not bringing in the numbers… you are history. It doesn’t matter that your wife had a brand new baby 3 months ago. Nope, that shit doesn’t matter. They do not care that you worked your ass off doing sixty to seventy hours a week so their shit ass sales force can fuck up sales by selling shit the company doesn’t even offer, and when they come to you they beg you for a fucking solution.
I still today cannot believe I asked “why me… why not Joe…” What a fucking schmuck I was. I mean I was really pissed at the company and I was asking why one of my direct reports did not get the axe instead of me. And that guy went on to take my position.
But I am a number. It doesn’t matter that I have seen the brink of financial destruction, and I have survived the worst of it all the while taking care of my obligations. I might have been late here and there, and it may have taken a while to get regular payment on track and it may have taken some negotiation to get an affordable payment. But that is not the point. The point is, that I am a number and because of X, Y, and Z, my NUMBERS do not look right so fuck you.
Yeah I am sounding pretty bitter. I got a new job today. I got offered a pretty fucking nice salary, with a full benefits package. And that is fucking awesome. But a cloud looms over me. I am still a slave to CA, and I am creditless, and am taking a position that is completely new to me, even though it is within the field I practice. I may be tired, I am certainly not ungrateful. I think I am just tentative. In fact I am most peeved about how I am leaving the current organization with which I am employed.
You see, I had a fantasy. With all the shit I have endured and all the crap that has been thrown at me, I wanted to leave with a bang. Now I am leaving like any other employee. You know they say never burn bridges… well I was going to destroy the bridge with a nuclear weapon. I am sure I have at least alluded to the fact, my position, a job though it may be, is a key position in my organization from an operational standpoint. And that it takes several months to train someone how to do this job decently and a while to do it effectively.
My fantasy, which has been dashed, was to leave at a moment’s notice. But I also held out that I might also make a little money out of a promise to stay for two weeks. However this was only under the ability to be on-boarded at my new organization. My new organization gave me a two week window to report. So here I am at my current job being forced to wait. And unfortunately I need to maintain cash flow, so I can’t just fucking walk, which I wish I could do. The satisfaction meter would jump the scale!
My Fantasy was to call my contracting company, tell them my last day is tomorrow. But I will work for two weeks if I get a ten percent bump and eighty hours additional pay at the end of the two weeks. Otherwise I was just going to walk. And I had no plans to tell anyone here. But as I have said… all has been dashed by my new company because my HR person will be on vacation next week and she has to prepare a number of things so I really could not start as soon as Monday.
I have been imagining how I would go see my manager here, and tell him I was walking, see ya, have a nice life. But that is assuming I had a job to go to tomorrow. I do not and being the principled kind of guy I am, I am not sure I would feel right waiting for two weeks and walking. Too many things could happen; too many issues could arise between now and then. It would also be a purely spiteful thing to do. I mean if I was offered today and they asked for me to start or told me I could start Monday, hey what am I going to do, say no? I think not!
As it turns out, my fantasy is smashed to a million pieces. I will put in my two weeks properly and deal with another eight shifts including tonight’s shift. I am taking off the Friday before my new job simply because I really won’t have Sunday off since I will be flying north to meet with some people and do a few days of training. And secondly, I think I deserve a couple of days off. I would like to take the whole week, but we cannot go that long without cash flow.
In some ways I feel a total let down. I expected a parade and cheers and all sorts of fanfare, but I seemed to have adopted a whole new set of concerns and issues. My main concern is the fact I have no credit to my name. Before I got laid off, things were tight and we were bleeding money, but with some help from parentals, I was able to prop us back up. And yes things did get behind after being laid off and I did have to pick and choose what got paid and what did not. But by the time I started this position, I was on the verge of bringing everything back together. I was then relegated to this position (a promotion they told me, just that I did not get OT which is my gravy) and I made some very tough decisions after Christmas to prevent us from having to claim bankruptcy. I let Mimi take over bills, so she could better concentrate on them and we entered consumer credit counseling since I could not get most creditors to negotiate with me. I did this knowing full well that CCS would wreck our credit even more than it had already been wrecked to date. But the pay off was negotiated interest rates, suspension of fees and loss of credit lines. But I knew that was the only way we could save ourselves.
Today we live frugally and although it is a struggle each month, with the money I bring in from various jobs, and Mimi’s sitting, we get by. I know we will soon have a decent lifestyle change as long as we remain disciplined. And this is an opportunity for us to get back on our feet and make other things happen. Unfortunately the lingering effects of the past few years have dampened the good news I have just received not to mention all the work it has taken to receive this news. I have never interviewed so many times and at such depths with any organization to get a position, but I am thankful for the opportunity. Now I just need to get this financial thing back under control.
Now, on the bright side, I have a new job, I will be starting in two weeks. It is in the field I enjoy most, and it is a consulting role at which I should be able to excel. With the switch back to a normal schedule, with me not having to look for a job on my every minute off, I do have a business plan I plan to put into action and with Mimi’s assistance, have another source of revenue. The best part of this business plan, is that should it work out, Mimi and I will have fun implementing it as it will require us to know what we will be selling to our future clients. And who knows… You may be one of those clients, and maybe this time next year, I will experience another lifestyle change.
When I roll out my product/service, I promise I will let you all know about it.
posted by Just Call Me Jay at 5:38 AM
2 Comments:
Well congrats on the new career. I am anxious to hear about what exactly it is. At least it's regular hours and hopefully you can be home with your family in the evenings.
Sorry your exudos at the old job didn't work out as you had planned.
Yes, it would have been such fun to tell them to go.... We all dream of that. But congrats on the new job. A year from now you can celebrate with a great dinner date with Mimi. Rosie
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