Hell in Suburbia
I need to make a post… mainly because I am going insane. No I am not really, but you know I hear a lot of women who complain their husbands do not appreciate what they do around the house. Well I am not one of those. Maybe it is because I was a single parent at one point, maybe it is because I am just that fucking observant. But as sucky as my job is (and if you do not know how sucky my job is, you need to either stop reading this blog or go back through the blog and read it so you will know how it ranks on the suckitude scale cause on a scale of one to seven it is s fucking 14!) I would not stay at home with children all day long. That would fucking suck bear nuts, big fucking grizzly bear nuts…
Ok, so I am at home today, after my gauntlet six nights of hell at the pit of shit I work in at least four days a week, and babies are wailing. Not just crying, but wailing. For two fucking days straight. The Man Baby just pisses me off too… she gets whatever the fuck attention she wants at home by her mother and three siblings and when something doesn’t go her way she expects someone to come and comfort her. No way Jose… that is not how you take care of a child. The world sucks and you will never get someone to hold your hand every minute of the day. You have to instill that in the child early on and not comfort them every time that something doesn’t work for them. You spoil them that way. So my daughter takes a set of play keys the Man Baby (MB) was playing with two seconds ago, and MB loses her every loving shit. So you tell her to come of to you and she wails even louder. She expects you to come and get her, get the fucking keys and comfort her. Well fuck that shit!
Now my daughter on the other hand doesn’t get that attention. Now that doesn’t mean she receives no affection. On the contrary, that child has me wrapped like my wife has me wrapped. But I refuse to coddle her when she trips on the floor and lands on padded carpet. If she wants some cuddling, she can get up and come over to me. It’s not like she just tripped down a flight of stairs and broke her femur, right?
Ok, so for the past two days I get MB crying at every little thing and my mobile and agile daughter who climbs like a monkey cannot stay in her cage. Well its not really a cage, it is a giant fucking room with a 36 inch TV, tons of toys, a VCR and DVD with a wealth of videos and tons of cable channels. There are big toys and little toys to play with. I have this place gated off with child gates, and my girl refuses to stay in there. I have asked her, yelled at her, and popped her on the diaper… will she stay in? Hell fucking no… like a little monkey she has defied every obstacle or movement of furniture we have put in the way or arranged. So what does she do when she gets out, she goes to the kitchen while you are cooking dinner, or she is eating dog food (that’s right I shit you not, my daughter finds dog food to be a delicacy) and she is into everything she can get her little hands upon. And she does not stay still, she grabs dog food while on the move to destroy or break the next things she has her eyes upon. I mean it is like she is the energizer bunny with lithium ion batteries that are over-clocked or some shit. I do not know what it is, she never runs out of energy. She is worse than my son ever was in that respect.
Today is my second day off and I finally feel like a human, after a couple of days of recuperation and a 30 hour stint from Saturday till Sunday night. I have an interview tomorrow, and I am in the process of doing some data copy work for a personal client and a webpage for another client, I have to swap a hard drive for one of my computers and I am downloading some movies. I also need to mow the lawn but since it will not stop raining and will not dry out for even a day, my yard looks like the deepest darkest jungles of the Amazon. Five years it has taken me to get the lawn grown in, both front and back and I cannot mow it without screwing it up… I am just going to wait till it is dry! So I have pretty much been stuck inside with these screaming banshees and it is driving me quite insane.
Mimi was starting to lose it this morning with a minor meltdown because MB was crying incessantly and my daughter would not stay in the cage. Over the gate she kept climbing, each time Mimi would tell her no, and each time she would climb over the gate again. Mimi popped her in the butt and the daughter lost her shit. Then Mimi, lost her shit… I sent Mimi for a walk as she was about to do a workout tape and I stayed with the girls. I have never suggested what Mimi or any stay at home mom does is easy. I mean taking care of the kids, getting the older ones organized with homework before sports, taking care of the house, shopping for groceries. It’s a whole lot of shit I cannot stand. I would lose my mind in a week. I definitely will take my place in hell before hers. Now I grant you, her place is probably much more satisfying from time to time, but overall the emotional drain is ridiculous. I swear I cannot see how Mimi stays horny like she does with all that she contends with on a daily basis.
So I am in my office trying to do all the shit I need to do and Mimi is taking care of the girls and I am the one losing my mind. Go fucking figure.
Well I have some more stuff to do, and I need to finish a couple of posts I already started like the one where my manager told one of my peers (an employee) that Jay is “just a fucking contractor,” well I got a big fucking surprise for him. It may not happen this week, and not next week or even next month, but when I get a job, I am fucking walking. I have made up my mind and that is it. I am going to hang those fuckers high and dry. And oh, by the way…remember… I am “just a fucking contractor!”
Ok, so I am at home today, after my gauntlet six nights of hell at the pit of shit I work in at least four days a week, and babies are wailing. Not just crying, but wailing. For two fucking days straight. The Man Baby just pisses me off too… she gets whatever the fuck attention she wants at home by her mother and three siblings and when something doesn’t go her way she expects someone to come and comfort her. No way Jose… that is not how you take care of a child. The world sucks and you will never get someone to hold your hand every minute of the day. You have to instill that in the child early on and not comfort them every time that something doesn’t work for them. You spoil them that way. So my daughter takes a set of play keys the Man Baby (MB) was playing with two seconds ago, and MB loses her every loving shit. So you tell her to come of to you and she wails even louder. She expects you to come and get her, get the fucking keys and comfort her. Well fuck that shit!
Now my daughter on the other hand doesn’t get that attention. Now that doesn’t mean she receives no affection. On the contrary, that child has me wrapped like my wife has me wrapped. But I refuse to coddle her when she trips on the floor and lands on padded carpet. If she wants some cuddling, she can get up and come over to me. It’s not like she just tripped down a flight of stairs and broke her femur, right?
Ok, so for the past two days I get MB crying at every little thing and my mobile and agile daughter who climbs like a monkey cannot stay in her cage. Well its not really a cage, it is a giant fucking room with a 36 inch TV, tons of toys, a VCR and DVD with a wealth of videos and tons of cable channels. There are big toys and little toys to play with. I have this place gated off with child gates, and my girl refuses to stay in there. I have asked her, yelled at her, and popped her on the diaper… will she stay in? Hell fucking no… like a little monkey she has defied every obstacle or movement of furniture we have put in the way or arranged. So what does she do when she gets out, she goes to the kitchen while you are cooking dinner, or she is eating dog food (that’s right I shit you not, my daughter finds dog food to be a delicacy) and she is into everything she can get her little hands upon. And she does not stay still, she grabs dog food while on the move to destroy or break the next things she has her eyes upon. I mean it is like she is the energizer bunny with lithium ion batteries that are over-clocked or some shit. I do not know what it is, she never runs out of energy. She is worse than my son ever was in that respect.
Today is my second day off and I finally feel like a human, after a couple of days of recuperation and a 30 hour stint from Saturday till Sunday night. I have an interview tomorrow, and I am in the process of doing some data copy work for a personal client and a webpage for another client, I have to swap a hard drive for one of my computers and I am downloading some movies. I also need to mow the lawn but since it will not stop raining and will not dry out for even a day, my yard looks like the deepest darkest jungles of the Amazon. Five years it has taken me to get the lawn grown in, both front and back and I cannot mow it without screwing it up… I am just going to wait till it is dry! So I have pretty much been stuck inside with these screaming banshees and it is driving me quite insane.
Mimi was starting to lose it this morning with a minor meltdown because MB was crying incessantly and my daughter would not stay in the cage. Over the gate she kept climbing, each time Mimi would tell her no, and each time she would climb over the gate again. Mimi popped her in the butt and the daughter lost her shit. Then Mimi, lost her shit… I sent Mimi for a walk as she was about to do a workout tape and I stayed with the girls. I have never suggested what Mimi or any stay at home mom does is easy. I mean taking care of the kids, getting the older ones organized with homework before sports, taking care of the house, shopping for groceries. It’s a whole lot of shit I cannot stand. I would lose my mind in a week. I definitely will take my place in hell before hers. Now I grant you, her place is probably much more satisfying from time to time, but overall the emotional drain is ridiculous. I swear I cannot see how Mimi stays horny like she does with all that she contends with on a daily basis.
So I am in my office trying to do all the shit I need to do and Mimi is taking care of the girls and I am the one losing my mind. Go fucking figure.
Well I have some more stuff to do, and I need to finish a couple of posts I already started like the one where my manager told one of my peers (an employee) that Jay is “just a fucking contractor,” well I got a big fucking surprise for him. It may not happen this week, and not next week or even next month, but when I get a job, I am fucking walking. I have made up my mind and that is it. I am going to hang those fuckers high and dry. And oh, by the way…remember… I am “just a fucking contractor!”
posted by Just Call Me Jay at 12:18 PM
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