Chasing Sleep and Laughing in French…
I spent most of today trying to sleep. Not actually sleeping mind you, but trying to get there. So if I were a normal person, who actually got to sleep at night, my brand of insomnia would make me a “Slow Sleeper.” However, I am not on a normal cycle of sleep, so I am not sure if my issue is insomnia or if my problem is, I am the truest form of a diurnal creature, requiring that I should sleep only at night.
For those of you who are not familiar with insomnia, to be a “Slow Sleeper,” is to simply have a hard time getting to sleep. Generally once you are asleep you sleep well, unless of course you try to go to sleep at 9PM and don’t get to sleep until 3AM and have to wake up at 5AM. That would completely suck. My issue is simply, I feel the need to be awake during the day, and when I lay (or do I lie, this always gets me effed up) there, my mind stays in drive and sometimes, because I want to sleep so badly, my mind revolts and shifts into overdrive. My thoughts drift from one subject to another, a streaming consciousness. One moment I could be thinking about the Hell-hole I drive to 4 days out of the week to work, or having good sex with my wife or simply having an intense fucking session with her, to money matters, or what I need to do to the yard. I found myself last week while struggling to sleep one day thinking about a pond I want to build in the yard.
This pond thing is an obsession that I have had since we moved into our house, but it has never risen up the priority list and now with us struggling for every buck we can muster, it has dropped very far down on the priority list. But I digress… chasing sleep today pissed me off. I crashed out well enough around I estimate 10AM or maybe a little after. I actually left the office on time today and was able to get home in a decent amount of time, to eat some food, pop an ambient, and drift off to dreamland. Unfortunately just after 3PM, my daughter toddled over to the stereo receiver that she has just started to be able to reach with the assistance of a toy she uses as a platform to climb on, and I guess thought to herself, “Gee, what the fuck does this button do, I have never been able to reach this thing before.” Next thing I know, my eyes fly open, and I bolt awake. All four channels of the stereo, are blaring.
I get my shorts on, go to the landing over looking our great room, and my daughter is staring up at me with this blank look on her face, like “what are you looking at me for, I didn’t do anything… Nope.. that thing turned itself on, I have just been sitting here in my playpen all this time.” Well, my monkey-like daughter would climb to the roof if she could figure out how to perform such a feat. She climbs in and out of her playpen like you and I sit on and leave a chair. I yelled for my wife, but she was nowhere to be immediately found. I figured she was in the laundry room or something with the door closed so the dogs couldn’t follow her. So I go down and turn off the receiver, tromp back upstairs and slam the door (I bet if you go to Mimi’s Blog, look to the very first link, you will read this same story form her account). As I come to find out she was shooting baskets for a few moments while she was taking something out to the garage.
I (now I am back to this fucking conundrum, whether I lay or lie on a the bed, grrrrr) lay back down and try to go to sleep. Not gonna happen. So about 4:30, I give up, come downstairs, grab a snack, have some soda and announce I am going to watch a movie and see if I can sleep. I get back into bed, turn the flick off a couple of times and try to sleep. At around 6:30 I give up again. I get up and go hang out with my wife and daughter, my son is at a sports activity, so its just the three of us till 7PM. Then Mimi makes dinner, and about 8PM I try it again, but no luck. A little after 9PM I go down to see my wife (the kids are now in bed). I hung out with Mimi for a bit, then decided I wanted a blow job. So I announced I was going to get a shower and asked if she wanted to come up too. Well by accounts, I spent almost as much trying to get to sleep as I actually slept to begin with. It is almost 2 AM and I feel like I have sandpaper inserts in my eyelids and want to collapse on my desk and chase some more sleep! I am also pulling some extra hours tonight, so I only have 10 hours left for tonight.
On the positive side, I got an awesome blow job from Mimi. If a certain visitor was not around, more would have occurred; I really wanted to go down on her… but not that badly. Now if you wanna know about the blow job, you have to see her blog.
I will try not to drag this entry out much further, but as you see I can be wordy. I do not talk nearly as much as I write, but I do like to write or tell a good story, or at least what I think is a good story. I also use a bit of profanity and I fucking love to drop the F-Bomb. Not sure why, but as you can tell I fucking love it, so bear with me!
I try not to tell much about my job to maintain additional anonymity, but I can tell you I deal with international colleagues quite often. Asians are sometimes hard to understand, but I like most all cultures, in general, from Asia. It may be, because I lived in the Pacific and Asia for a number of years off and on, but Europeans, they are a different story. It maybe that my military background queered the deal when it comes to Europeans., I really do not know. I have a hard time with many Europeans in general but none more than the French.
I have already commented about the French several times. Now if someday this blog gets into circulation and I start offending you Frogs, sorry, but from where I sit, you are all a bunch of arrogant bastards that thumb your nose at America after all we have done for you!
So what got me going? A simple fucking email. I did not ask for a whole lot, just a simple effing status.. I had one of my people send an email to a partner company requesting they provide some status on an issue we were monitoring. My guy gets an email saying he is not authorized to be provided the status we requested. OK, so I try to keep my cool. Unfortunately I was tired, had been up all night, and the last thing I need is some dickhead telling my folks we could not get status on an issue for one of our clients that we hired their company to support.
So, I tell my guy, no problem, and ask him to call the person who sent the email and conference me onto the call. I get onto the call, and explain who I am and what my position is with my company, then request he send us an email with the status. He tells me that he cannot, then I ask him, why is it that he can tell me on the phone status, as he had just done, but cannot send an email. He tells me it is out of process. Okay, now I am in desperation of losing it with this mealy mouth ass-hat. I once again explain to him, his company, although a partner, is our sub-contractor and I want an email. He tells me that he cannot, but asks me if I would like to speak to his supervisor.
So next thing I know another frog eating sub-genius gets on the phone, and tells me the same fucking thing as if he is some automaton from a Michael Chriton novel, like I am in “FrenchWorld of the Non-Helping Ass-hats” or some such nonsense. Then this supervisor starts in on all this shit that sounds like something out of Monty-Python, and how they are not our slaves, but partners, and that we cannot ask of him something that is not clearly stated and so on and so on. I am feeling like I am listening to a French version of Terry Gilliam or something, I wanted to tell this guy, “I fart in your general direction!” just to turn the tables a little bit since I was in a real life version of the Holy Grail. So now he launches into some silly analogy about driving a fucking car and both of us driving and blah, blah, blah. At this point I say his name over and over till he shuts the fuck up, and ask him if he is going to send the email to me or not. He says, emphatically he will not (with his freaking accent I felt like someone was running their fingernails down a blackboard), and so I tell him to send the email to another group I KNOW is on his process, and tell him to have those Ass-Clowns to forward the status to my folks. So just like that, he agrees he can perform that task. I cannot believe this shit. We have just spent 20 minutes discussing an email that would take 2 seconds to forward and instead it has to go through another group just to get back to my group because this guy is not a fucking “slave” (that was part of his nonsensical analogy) of my organization.
All I can say is WTF… About thirty minutes later, I go talk to one of my managers, who just spoke to the ass-hat supervisor I spoke to, and she was literally laughing when I walked in. She looks at me and says to me “well, I was just speaking with P and he said, I think Jay was peesed off!” She then asked P if that was a technical term, he was not humoured by the question. So I ask my manager if she knows how to laugh in French, she says no… So then I do the Pierre Lumberjack laugh… uh Huuuuh. She laughed again. We discussed the “new” process which is just as asinine as the other, but I just said okay, shrugged my shoulders and left for what I had hoped would be a blissful day of sleep.
How ironic that thought was, you know?
For those of you who are not familiar with insomnia, to be a “Slow Sleeper,” is to simply have a hard time getting to sleep. Generally once you are asleep you sleep well, unless of course you try to go to sleep at 9PM and don’t get to sleep until 3AM and have to wake up at 5AM. That would completely suck. My issue is simply, I feel the need to be awake during the day, and when I lay (or do I lie, this always gets me effed up) there, my mind stays in drive and sometimes, because I want to sleep so badly, my mind revolts and shifts into overdrive. My thoughts drift from one subject to another, a streaming consciousness. One moment I could be thinking about the Hell-hole I drive to 4 days out of the week to work, or having good sex with my wife or simply having an intense fucking session with her, to money matters, or what I need to do to the yard. I found myself last week while struggling to sleep one day thinking about a pond I want to build in the yard.
This pond thing is an obsession that I have had since we moved into our house, but it has never risen up the priority list and now with us struggling for every buck we can muster, it has dropped very far down on the priority list. But I digress… chasing sleep today pissed me off. I crashed out well enough around I estimate 10AM or maybe a little after. I actually left the office on time today and was able to get home in a decent amount of time, to eat some food, pop an ambient, and drift off to dreamland. Unfortunately just after 3PM, my daughter toddled over to the stereo receiver that she has just started to be able to reach with the assistance of a toy she uses as a platform to climb on, and I guess thought to herself, “Gee, what the fuck does this button do, I have never been able to reach this thing before.” Next thing I know, my eyes fly open, and I bolt awake. All four channels of the stereo, are blaring.
I get my shorts on, go to the landing over looking our great room, and my daughter is staring up at me with this blank look on her face, like “what are you looking at me for, I didn’t do anything… Nope.. that thing turned itself on, I have just been sitting here in my playpen all this time.” Well, my monkey-like daughter would climb to the roof if she could figure out how to perform such a feat. She climbs in and out of her playpen like you and I sit on and leave a chair. I yelled for my wife, but she was nowhere to be immediately found. I figured she was in the laundry room or something with the door closed so the dogs couldn’t follow her. So I go down and turn off the receiver, tromp back upstairs and slam the door (I bet if you go to Mimi’s Blog, look to the very first link, you will read this same story form her account). As I come to find out she was shooting baskets for a few moments while she was taking something out to the garage.
I (now I am back to this fucking conundrum, whether I lay or lie on a the bed, grrrrr) lay back down and try to go to sleep. Not gonna happen. So about 4:30, I give up, come downstairs, grab a snack, have some soda and announce I am going to watch a movie and see if I can sleep. I get back into bed, turn the flick off a couple of times and try to sleep. At around 6:30 I give up again. I get up and go hang out with my wife and daughter, my son is at a sports activity, so its just the three of us till 7PM. Then Mimi makes dinner, and about 8PM I try it again, but no luck. A little after 9PM I go down to see my wife (the kids are now in bed). I hung out with Mimi for a bit, then decided I wanted a blow job. So I announced I was going to get a shower and asked if she wanted to come up too. Well by accounts, I spent almost as much trying to get to sleep as I actually slept to begin with. It is almost 2 AM and I feel like I have sandpaper inserts in my eyelids and want to collapse on my desk and chase some more sleep! I am also pulling some extra hours tonight, so I only have 10 hours left for tonight.
On the positive side, I got an awesome blow job from Mimi. If a certain visitor was not around, more would have occurred; I really wanted to go down on her… but not that badly. Now if you wanna know about the blow job, you have to see her blog.
I will try not to drag this entry out much further, but as you see I can be wordy. I do not talk nearly as much as I write, but I do like to write or tell a good story, or at least what I think is a good story. I also use a bit of profanity and I fucking love to drop the F-Bomb. Not sure why, but as you can tell I fucking love it, so bear with me!
I try not to tell much about my job to maintain additional anonymity, but I can tell you I deal with international colleagues quite often. Asians are sometimes hard to understand, but I like most all cultures, in general, from Asia. It may be, because I lived in the Pacific and Asia for a number of years off and on, but Europeans, they are a different story. It maybe that my military background queered the deal when it comes to Europeans., I really do not know. I have a hard time with many Europeans in general but none more than the French.
I have already commented about the French several times. Now if someday this blog gets into circulation and I start offending you Frogs, sorry, but from where I sit, you are all a bunch of arrogant bastards that thumb your nose at America after all we have done for you!
So what got me going? A simple fucking email. I did not ask for a whole lot, just a simple effing status.. I had one of my people send an email to a partner company requesting they provide some status on an issue we were monitoring. My guy gets an email saying he is not authorized to be provided the status we requested. OK, so I try to keep my cool. Unfortunately I was tired, had been up all night, and the last thing I need is some dickhead telling my folks we could not get status on an issue for one of our clients that we hired their company to support.
So, I tell my guy, no problem, and ask him to call the person who sent the email and conference me onto the call. I get onto the call, and explain who I am and what my position is with my company, then request he send us an email with the status. He tells me that he cannot, then I ask him, why is it that he can tell me on the phone status, as he had just done, but cannot send an email. He tells me it is out of process. Okay, now I am in desperation of losing it with this mealy mouth ass-hat. I once again explain to him, his company, although a partner, is our sub-contractor and I want an email. He tells me that he cannot, but asks me if I would like to speak to his supervisor.
So next thing I know another frog eating sub-genius gets on the phone, and tells me the same fucking thing as if he is some automaton from a Michael Chriton novel, like I am in “FrenchWorld of the Non-Helping Ass-hats” or some such nonsense. Then this supervisor starts in on all this shit that sounds like something out of Monty-Python, and how they are not our slaves, but partners, and that we cannot ask of him something that is not clearly stated and so on and so on. I am feeling like I am listening to a French version of Terry Gilliam or something, I wanted to tell this guy, “I fart in your general direction!” just to turn the tables a little bit since I was in a real life version of the Holy Grail. So now he launches into some silly analogy about driving a fucking car and both of us driving and blah, blah, blah. At this point I say his name over and over till he shuts the fuck up, and ask him if he is going to send the email to me or not. He says, emphatically he will not (with his freaking accent I felt like someone was running their fingernails down a blackboard), and so I tell him to send the email to another group I KNOW is on his process, and tell him to have those Ass-Clowns to forward the status to my folks. So just like that, he agrees he can perform that task. I cannot believe this shit. We have just spent 20 minutes discussing an email that would take 2 seconds to forward and instead it has to go through another group just to get back to my group because this guy is not a fucking “slave” (that was part of his nonsensical analogy) of my organization.
All I can say is WTF… About thirty minutes later, I go talk to one of my managers, who just spoke to the ass-hat supervisor I spoke to, and she was literally laughing when I walked in. She looks at me and says to me “well, I was just speaking with P and he said, I think Jay was peesed off!” She then asked P if that was a technical term, he was not humoured by the question. So I ask my manager if she knows how to laugh in French, she says no… So then I do the Pierre Lumberjack laugh… uh Huuuuh. She laughed again. We discussed the “new” process which is just as asinine as the other, but I just said okay, shrugged my shoulders and left for what I had hoped would be a blissful day of sleep.
How ironic that thought was, you know?
posted by Just Call Me Jay at 6:10 AM
2 Comments:
I am not a big sleeper either... although I wish I was.... sure my husband wishes more than me! LOL
Thanks for the post Christel! Unfortunately for me, I love to sleep and on the days I am off, I sleep as a normal person. I simply have issues sleeping during the day. And when I don't get to sleep I get sick and then life really sucks.
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